Cynical Drowsiness

Ever noticed how sleep deprivation turns you into a temporary cynic?

Being in a small college has many drawbacks, and getting vital information at the last minute is one of those constantly annoying ones. In this instance, near the end of the last class yesterday, before 1 pm, we were informed that our teachers have organized for an 'industrial visit' tomorrow, on 16th January 2014, to the film festival at Siri Fort Auditorium. They did however, as always, forget to mention any more details as to what the film festival was about, just that it was on 'films about disability'. Checked my friend and Class Representative's facebook later that night to find out that we had to reach college by 8:30 am, the bus will leave from college at 9 and that those who came by the venue later at personal leisure will not be entertained.

With that information, I decided I would sleep early and get up early to leave early and hence reach on time, it takes me a minimum of 90 minutes to reach college from my home. So I did what every teen does, and finally dozed off at 2 am and woke up at 6 am, in a very groggy state. Its the winters of Delhi, so the next 3 hours passed in a blur of getting ready, travelling in the metro and annoying people. I reached the college at 8:55 and as expected there were barely 15 other students. Having eaten no food or water, the bus finally left college at 9:45 am and I read a book on the way. The journey was not eventful for me, and soon enough we were all sitting inside the auditorium having signed in for attendance at the entrance desk. 

The sleep deprivation had started to kick in, and I was distancing myself from my friends for greater personal space. I agree, to seek personal space in an auditorium screening a film festival sounds really stupid, but that's what I did. The presenter for the day, a man I remember as Mr.Kapoor had a heavy (funny) accent when he spoke which seemed to annoy me a bit, but soon the films started to roll and I immersed myself into that world. The films were touching, and inspiring, yet I couldn't answer if they made any difference to the way I already perceived those who are disabled, or how could I personally better their lives. After about 5 or 6 films, covering issues of physical handicaps(missing or non-functioning or deformed limbs), mental illnesses(autism, schizophrenia and more), helping these people become self dependent and to accept them not pity them, it was time for the introductions and inauguration. The organizers of the event, members of Department of Disability Affairs, Ministry of Social Justice & Empowerment came on stage to give what were motivating speeches, but by this time, the hunger and sleep deprivation had taken over and the unleashed my cynic self. There were other guests too, Mr. Marwah of Marwah Studios, a celebrity singer and musician whose name escapes me, and other famous or important dignitaries. They all made passionate speeches about helping the disabled and integrating them into society and such, all the while listening to them I kept pondering over what personal gains were they achieving here or if they would have done it if it wasn't their job?

As the event progressed more and more people were brought in, and I soon learnt that they had asked the student audience to confine themselves to the centre section as the other two seating sections were to be filled by those of institutions for the disabled and such. The irony of seating those people separately in a festival which aims to ease their integration into everyday society was too obvious. In fact, it was so obvious that nobody else seemed to notice, and that further spoiled my already cynic mood.

 Luckily, it was time for me to leave by 1 pm, to reach my French learning classes, and I excused myself from the now suffocating environment of people and hypocrisy. All of that, just because I didn't sleep enough last night.

Here is the link to the Press Release regarding details of The Samarth Festival held at Siri Fort on 15th-16th January 2014:

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