Restless Days
Talking about stress to an undergrad, is like preaching to the choir. While the luckiest of us have the advantage of home businesses or genetic brilliance, most of us spend a lot of our time shuffling between our possible careers, none more sure than the next. There are those with active stress of working while studying, and those with passive stress of simply worrying about the load of work that is about to come their way. I belong to the latter group, and as I came to know that is more harmful.
Greying hair, shrinking appetites, sleep deprivation and zoning out, the most common plight of a young adult. We are afraid of the future and frustrated with the present. In college, I am simply herded from class to class, reminded of the rising tower of work I need to catch up with. At home, I am exhausted yet cannot rest, hungry yet cannot eat. I can't even remember the last time I 'went' to sleep, I just pass out whenever depending on how tired I am, and I always awake alert and in shock. Gone are the days where I would gently open my eyes to the light, wiggle about in my bed as I stretch my body and arise in the morning. Now, its like BOOM, I'm up, eyes wide open, a rapid pulse and sense of panic, even on a weekend.
The only time I feel at rest or calm, is at French class with my friends and colleagues. It is one of the last few remaining places where I am not paranoid or feel claustrophobic. If I lie still in my room for too long, the walls seem to close in. A guy can't even feel at peace in his own room, that's when you know its time for a break. An excursion, an outing, an evening, or just a good day, to restore the balance of chaos in life instead of the dreary constant of paranoia and fear.
But even those opportunities seem depressing, and as you pass them by, you wonder if you might just have missed on the greatest time of your life. However, that's part of this sick game called life, and you live with your decisions and choices, and make the most of them. So, here is to opportunities missed, and to the ones that are about to come, to happiness.
Greying hair, shrinking appetites, sleep deprivation and zoning out, the most common plight of a young adult. We are afraid of the future and frustrated with the present. In college, I am simply herded from class to class, reminded of the rising tower of work I need to catch up with. At home, I am exhausted yet cannot rest, hungry yet cannot eat. I can't even remember the last time I 'went' to sleep, I just pass out whenever depending on how tired I am, and I always awake alert and in shock. Gone are the days where I would gently open my eyes to the light, wiggle about in my bed as I stretch my body and arise in the morning. Now, its like BOOM, I'm up, eyes wide open, a rapid pulse and sense of panic, even on a weekend.
The only time I feel at rest or calm, is at French class with my friends and colleagues. It is one of the last few remaining places where I am not paranoid or feel claustrophobic. If I lie still in my room for too long, the walls seem to close in. A guy can't even feel at peace in his own room, that's when you know its time for a break. An excursion, an outing, an evening, or just a good day, to restore the balance of chaos in life instead of the dreary constant of paranoia and fear.
But even those opportunities seem depressing, and as you pass them by, you wonder if you might just have missed on the greatest time of your life. However, that's part of this sick game called life, and you live with your decisions and choices, and make the most of them. So, here is to opportunities missed, and to the ones that are about to come, to happiness.
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