Taking a Stand
Being only nineteen years old, its easy to forget certain realities of life and our surroundings. The world is a harsh place, and it doesn't let us forget it for too long.
I haven't written for a long time now, earlier it was because I had plenty of good days, but this time, I was just too busy caught up in my rage. Now that I have it sorted out, join me as I recount the incidents of these last few weeks. It all started with getting thrown out of a class for being an ass just because I already knew the stuff that was being taught. So, I went to have lunch in my college canteen, which it turns out is where you aren't supposed to be during class irrespective of the reason. Quite basically, had a little tiff with the management, which was resolved quickly but triggered a rather extreme rage inside me. All the pent up anger and issues ranging from the first semester to few weeks ago, resurfaced, with an idle mind to make use of it. Long story short, I designed a couple of anti-college posters and put 'em up across my floor the following week. Within about 45 mins or so, most of the faculty and plenty of students had seen them and heard about them. That lead to the prompt arrival of my HoD, and I quickly confessed to the crime. Lacking a good argument at the time, she asked me to wait outside while she talked for about an hour to my classmates and happy participants of the 'Agree-culture' in most institutions.
I was then shown to the Director's office, where I could finally have a one on one with one of the people I have the utmost respect for, the Director himself. Another hour there, and the issue was suppressed for the moment. Since then, I have had to submit a formal apology and it seems to be resolved for now. The best part though, has been the reaction of the more open minded teachers of mine. It's a standard mix of disapproval with a chuckle of acknowledgement for my radical behavior, and the initial disbelief that this was the work of just one person.
This whole incident, while it may have seemed rash, stupid and juvenile, it was actually well planned based on psychological observations. It achieved the objectives I had set, but I will not be one to try the same risky move again, that would be simply dumb. But I did it, I stood up for what I believed in, got shot down, but made that effort nonetheless.
A more recent incident, quite small, my phones got confiscated in college, a mix of right and wrong there. This lead to a long lecture from my father, which brought the world and my view of it, crashing around my head. I realized that I am not in a position to afford to have principles. People, 99.9% of people in the world, would pick what is convenient to keep things going, than care about what is right and what is wrong in principle. This epiphany, or, remembering this truth, put me on a verge of emotional collapse. This may not sound as bad, but it all happened while I was on my way to college the next morning. A consequent enlightenment to me, was that once you've been in state where you can't even get time to be depressed, you cherish all who are a part of your life, yet none is so important that you cannot continue without them.
And so, I want to thank all who have ever shared a chapter of my life, it it were not for you, I wouldn't be who I am today, a person who is willing to take a stand for. If my beliefs are wrong or misinformed, I am only too understanding and eager to improve myself. Yes, I think that maybe I could have done with a little less pain, fewer embarrassments, but it took all of it to make me into the guy I am and wouldn't have it any other way. I would also like to apologize to all I have hurt, and I hope there are no hard feelings. Lastly, I am only too grateful, for the ones who have stayed on, by my side, in some way or another, and provided their love and support, I really am a lucky man, in my own right.
I haven't written for a long time now, earlier it was because I had plenty of good days, but this time, I was just too busy caught up in my rage. Now that I have it sorted out, join me as I recount the incidents of these last few weeks. It all started with getting thrown out of a class for being an ass just because I already knew the stuff that was being taught. So, I went to have lunch in my college canteen, which it turns out is where you aren't supposed to be during class irrespective of the reason. Quite basically, had a little tiff with the management, which was resolved quickly but triggered a rather extreme rage inside me. All the pent up anger and issues ranging from the first semester to few weeks ago, resurfaced, with an idle mind to make use of it. Long story short, I designed a couple of anti-college posters and put 'em up across my floor the following week. Within about 45 mins or so, most of the faculty and plenty of students had seen them and heard about them. That lead to the prompt arrival of my HoD, and I quickly confessed to the crime. Lacking a good argument at the time, she asked me to wait outside while she talked for about an hour to my classmates and happy participants of the 'Agree-culture' in most institutions.
I was then shown to the Director's office, where I could finally have a one on one with one of the people I have the utmost respect for, the Director himself. Another hour there, and the issue was suppressed for the moment. Since then, I have had to submit a formal apology and it seems to be resolved for now. The best part though, has been the reaction of the more open minded teachers of mine. It's a standard mix of disapproval with a chuckle of acknowledgement for my radical behavior, and the initial disbelief that this was the work of just one person.
This whole incident, while it may have seemed rash, stupid and juvenile, it was actually well planned based on psychological observations. It achieved the objectives I had set, but I will not be one to try the same risky move again, that would be simply dumb. But I did it, I stood up for what I believed in, got shot down, but made that effort nonetheless.
A more recent incident, quite small, my phones got confiscated in college, a mix of right and wrong there. This lead to a long lecture from my father, which brought the world and my view of it, crashing around my head. I realized that I am not in a position to afford to have principles. People, 99.9% of people in the world, would pick what is convenient to keep things going, than care about what is right and what is wrong in principle. This epiphany, or, remembering this truth, put me on a verge of emotional collapse. This may not sound as bad, but it all happened while I was on my way to college the next morning. A consequent enlightenment to me, was that once you've been in state where you can't even get time to be depressed, you cherish all who are a part of your life, yet none is so important that you cannot continue without them.
And so, I want to thank all who have ever shared a chapter of my life, it it were not for you, I wouldn't be who I am today, a person who is willing to take a stand for. If my beliefs are wrong or misinformed, I am only too understanding and eager to improve myself. Yes, I think that maybe I could have done with a little less pain, fewer embarrassments, but it took all of it to make me into the guy I am and wouldn't have it any other way. I would also like to apologize to all I have hurt, and I hope there are no hard feelings. Lastly, I am only too grateful, for the ones who have stayed on, by my side, in some way or another, and provided their love and support, I really am a lucky man, in my own right.
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