Shut Up & Watch The Movie!!
Now, regular readers would know that I like to go to watch movies, as regularly as possible. Over the years, I have frequented many different cinemas and different kinds of people coming to watch different kinds of movies. But I do have one major problem almost every time and its people making noises in the middle of the film!!
There's all kinds of noises and disruptive sounds that people make at the movies. When people react to certain scenes in the film, in the form of gasps, laughs, groans, even the cheers when an epic character makes his or her entrance in the story, I don't mind as much. But what really bothers me is when people are continuously talking or muttering in the middle of the film. Sometimes it's a bunch of shameless punks with no sense of civil politeness or courtesy or even a shred of dignity. These bunch of aggravating scum can be hard to silence, as logic is unfathomable to their barely functioning brains.
Then there are the annoying-narrators. These folk love to repeat exactly what just happened in the film to the person with them, seemingly to constantly need reassurance that they're not hallucinating or that they have no faith in the ability of their friend to understand what's happening in a film. "Did you see that? Did you see how that guy did that and then they went there and then did this? Did you see that?" Yes!! I fuckin saw it! We are watching this at the same time! Now please shut the fuck up or I'll miss what happens next!"
Following these folk are the trivia muttering viewers. These well informed cannot help but spout off trivia points about the movie or about the actor or the character or the location or whatever. It's interesting, but can it wait until AFTER the film yea? Or just send me the link to the wiki page you memorised all that stuff from and I'll look it up later.
The most common culprits of such noisy crimes are the munchers. Now, most of them are only partly to blame as there's not exactly a bunch of snack options at the cafeteria in the movies. WHOSE bright idea was it serve loud crunchy snacks while watching films? AND WHY DID IT BECOME SO DAMN POPULAR?! While the snacks ARE noisy, people can still make an effort no?! I do! I love to munch while watching films, but I make a conscious effort about how much noise I'm making. Honestly, if there is a moment in the film where the silence is crucial to the scene, I'll be too scared to break the silence by munching the piece of popcorn I had JUST put in my mouth. I'll actually wait for the scene to pass before I chew again.
Amongst the munchers, there are the worst ones who bring toffees in their pockets and make an incredible racket with the wrapper. I don't even know what to say about them, but it does feel good to smack it out of their hand just as they take the toffee out. It might become a brawl, so, pick your fights wisely.
The thing that makes these noises ever MORE annoying, is when these people come into play during parts of the film where there is little or no sounds, These moments are a cinematic tool, to tell the story with maximum effect, and then there's that prick 5 rows over who didn't silence his phone, and then stares at it to see who's calling without even silencing the ringing. I tell you, it should be legal to smack these people in the back of the head with the snack tray and then confiscate their phone till the end of the film.
While I have been guilty of making all these mistakes, I make conscious efforts not to. But if you find yourself identifying with any of the types of people mentioned here, without remorse, you should hit yourself in the face with a dictionary. Or get a friend to do it for you.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Hope you liked it, feel free to comment and share! Subscribe to get the latest from the Loon.
There's all kinds of noises and disruptive sounds that people make at the movies. When people react to certain scenes in the film, in the form of gasps, laughs, groans, even the cheers when an epic character makes his or her entrance in the story, I don't mind as much. But what really bothers me is when people are continuously talking or muttering in the middle of the film. Sometimes it's a bunch of shameless punks with no sense of civil politeness or courtesy or even a shred of dignity. These bunch of aggravating scum can be hard to silence, as logic is unfathomable to their barely functioning brains.
Then there are the annoying-narrators. These folk love to repeat exactly what just happened in the film to the person with them, seemingly to constantly need reassurance that they're not hallucinating or that they have no faith in the ability of their friend to understand what's happening in a film. "Did you see that? Did you see how that guy did that and then they went there and then did this? Did you see that?" Yes!! I fuckin saw it! We are watching this at the same time! Now please shut the fuck up or I'll miss what happens next!"
Following these folk are the trivia muttering viewers. These well informed cannot help but spout off trivia points about the movie or about the actor or the character or the location or whatever. It's interesting, but can it wait until AFTER the film yea? Or just send me the link to the wiki page you memorised all that stuff from and I'll look it up later.
The most common culprits of such noisy crimes are the munchers. Now, most of them are only partly to blame as there's not exactly a bunch of snack options at the cafeteria in the movies. WHOSE bright idea was it serve loud crunchy snacks while watching films? AND WHY DID IT BECOME SO DAMN POPULAR?! While the snacks ARE noisy, people can still make an effort no?! I do! I love to munch while watching films, but I make a conscious effort about how much noise I'm making. Honestly, if there is a moment in the film where the silence is crucial to the scene, I'll be too scared to break the silence by munching the piece of popcorn I had JUST put in my mouth. I'll actually wait for the scene to pass before I chew again.
Amongst the munchers, there are the worst ones who bring toffees in their pockets and make an incredible racket with the wrapper. I don't even know what to say about them, but it does feel good to smack it out of their hand just as they take the toffee out. It might become a brawl, so, pick your fights wisely.
The thing that makes these noises ever MORE annoying, is when these people come into play during parts of the film where there is little or no sounds, These moments are a cinematic tool, to tell the story with maximum effect, and then there's that prick 5 rows over who didn't silence his phone, and then stares at it to see who's calling without even silencing the ringing. I tell you, it should be legal to smack these people in the back of the head with the snack tray and then confiscate their phone till the end of the film.
While I have been guilty of making all these mistakes, I make conscious efforts not to. But if you find yourself identifying with any of the types of people mentioned here, without remorse, you should hit yourself in the face with a dictionary. Or get a friend to do it for you.
Anyway, thanks for reading. Hope you liked it, feel free to comment and share! Subscribe to get the latest from the Loon.
Comments
Post a Comment