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Showing posts from 2017

An Angry Christmas Carol

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*Sung to the tune of 'Deck the Halls' Deck the people who make you angry Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Beat them up in some dark alley Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Fuck the people with nice apparel Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Drink your booze now by the barrel Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la See our lives a mess before us Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Drink some more and join the chorus Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Find a buddy for times of pleasure Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Moan and yell for good measure Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Quick! Before the old year passes, Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Bend on over and spread your asses (to sing) Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Stay in bed, you belong together Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Binge watch your way through the weather Fa, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la Disclaimer: The carol above is not meant to offend or disturb anyone...

Something about December

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Ohhhhh it's been a while since the I shared a bit more than just movie reviews or cars or a 'Where I am' series. I am well aware that first and foremost, this blog is about rants and opinions, unfiltered and unrestrained. I am also aware and there has been very little of those these past few months. It's not like I'm less angry with the world or that I have run out of topics to rant about. There isn't just one reason, there are a few and some of which I can put into words, like the ones below. Quite often, a rant would be left unwritten because it made me too mad and upset to express it coherently. Sometimes, I felt bombarded by the upsetting audio-visual stimuli from my environment that it would leave me far too upset if I tried to put it down in text. Worry not, for I have not been holding in all these feelings that might cause a series of serious implosions and explosions. I have been lucky enough to have someone close enough to be there for me in all t...

Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Movie Review

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Two years after the first chapter of the final Star Wars trilogy came out, the VIIIth episode of the saga is out now and it is one of the best modern ones yet. The Last Jedi brings back Mark Hamill and will pretty much be the last time we see Carrie Fisher as Princess Leia after the famed actress passed away earlier this year. In case you're slightly puzzled about the Star Wars movie that came out before this one, Rogue One, that was a filler film to set up the storyline of Episode IV of the saga, full review here . But 'The Last Jedi' picks up almost immediately after the events of Episode VII 'The Force Awakens' which introduced all the new players of the Star Wars universe, brought back the Millenium Falcon and sadly saw the end of Han Solo. Rey (Daisy Riddler) has found the legendary Luke Skywalker (Mark Hamill) on a scenic island located on a planet in a remote corner of the galaxy, accompanied by Chewie in the Falcon. Here she seeks answers to contro...

Borg McEnroe: Movie Review

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Yay!! Another film about an iconic sports rivalry, this time in the world of tennis. The story of the Wimbledon tournament of 1980, a tournament that would offer a defining moment in the careers of some of the greatest players ever to grace the Centre Court - Björn Borg and John McEnroe. At the time of the 1980 Wimbledon tournament, Borg already had 9 Grand Slam singles titles under his belt, with five French Open titles, three of them back to back and four consecutive Wimbledon titles. On his way to set a record and become the first ever player to win Wimbledon five times in a row, ranked Number One in the world. Everyone expected the Swedish tennis legend to win, the media and the frantic fans all adding pressure on a man who was on the verge of losing his confidence and form. On the flip side was the even younger John McEnroe, infamous for his mannerisms and rowdiness on the court, shouting and insulting the crowd and the judges too. But he was ranked Number Two in ...

Mark Felt: The Man Who Brought Down the White House - Movie Review

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The story of an American hero who took down the most powerful office in the free world, from the inside, gets a reel-life narrative. A film that has come at an interesting time for US politics with one of the most unhinged and incompetent elected leaders of recent times at the country's helm. Let's take a look at the story of 'Deep Throat' aka Mark Felt and the circumstances that led a patriot to take down the executive branch of the nation, including the resignation of President Nixon. As someone based in India, modern political history of America was nowhere on our educational spectrum and neither did I have an interest in serious politics at the age of 15. But I remember my dad bringing home a particular movie on VCD called "All the President's Men" and that is how I came to know of the Watergate scandal surrounding the 1972 presidential election.  William Mark Felt Sr. was Associate Director at the F.B.I. at the time of the Watergate break-i...

Murder on the Orient Express: Movie Review

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'Tis the times of remaking classics, fa la-la-la-la-la la, la-la la la. We have here a remake of a classic murder mystery adapted from a novel, which in 1975 which got 6 oscar nominations including a win. This is the tale penned by the popular and acclaimed author, Agatha Christe - Murder on the Orient Express. Kenneth Branagh has taken on the task of directing the modern day iteration of a classic, while simulataneously doning the role of Hercule Poirot, possibly the greatest detective in the world. We get a star-studded ensemble including Judi Dench, Johnny Depp, Willem Dafoe, Josh Gad, Olivia Colman and Michelle Pfeiffer as part of the seventeen main characters. And that right there is the problem. I have not read the novel nor seen the 1974 film, so this new screen adaption of Murder on the Orient Express was seen and experienced with a clean slate. While the IMDB listing states the movie has a runtime of 1hr54m, I distinctly remember the film being at least 15 minutes...

Justice League: Movie Review

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Finally!! After all those teasers and trailers and whatnot, it's finally here, the DC comics ensemble of Earth's mightiest warriors – the Justice League! We move onto the next adventure in the DC timeline following the events of 'Dawn of Justice: Batman v Superman', and Justice League is a better film for sure, but that doesn't mean it's a really good one either. The plot has us following Batman and Wonder Woman recruiting more people with special abilities to defend the Earth from an impending alien invasion. Classic comic stuff, in the right scenario. But as is the problem with having major characters all in the same movie, nobody gets enough character development. The Ben Affleck Batman was introduced in his fight with Superman, along with Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman (moment of happy recollection of her beauty). She got her solo film to explain her character and origin story and we got Henry Cavill's Superman story in 'Man Of Steel'. That lea...

Qarib Qarib Single: Movie Review

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Yep. The Loon went for a Hindi rom-com of sorts. But, I was pleasantly surprised, hence this review. The film takes on the topic of moving on from past relationships once you cross your thirties, for whatever reasons and the challenges that one might face in the process. It also makes a comment on the disgusting humans, almost mainly men, who are often found on online dating sites, but humorously.  'Qarib Qarib Single' has the brilliant Irrfan Khan headlining as one of the protagonists, Yogi the poet, and is accompanied by Parvathy as Jaya. The talented actress here making her Bollywood debut does a good job of channelling a 35-year old widow who works as a Web developed in Delhi, and also nails the fourth-wall breaks in the film.  The jokes are silly but innocent and well-delivered by Irrfan's character while Jaya provides good banter with occasional outbursts that reflect the flip side of how repressed she feels around most people in her life. The two me...

Thor: Ragnarok - Movie Review

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This is it! The third and last solo Thor movie in the MCU before we get the Infinity War movies, and Marvel has gone all out. In terms of action, colour, humour, music and outright quirkiness. 'Thor: Ragnarok' might just be the best bromance superhero movie yet. I've been hyped up to see this one ever since the first trailer came out with the Led Zep back-track and it does not disappoint. It actually uses that song for an action-sequence which in itself wins it some brownie points in my book. The plot of the movie is pretty straightforward while the characters around them do make a point of mentioning it too. Chris Hemsworth has managed to look even more badass as Thor with short hair though that might have something to do with him getting control over his powers as the God of Thunder. Tom Hiddleston is brilliant and brings an unexpected endearment to Loki given how much I disliked him in the first Avengers movie. Mark Ruffalo finally gets some interesting and funn...

The Colaba Diaries: Ep 9 - End of the Saga

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Oh man. I've been delaying this one for more than half a year now. Which I know kind of defeats the purpose of making this a series for you readers. But to be quite frank, I put it on hold because I had nothing interesting to share with you good folks, but given that I am no longer there, this may well be a fitting time to end it. In a way, this post in the series should have been written back in June, when I did move out of my bed in Colaba. I'd moved to a flat in an area called Kurla West, where I had a sizeable room to myself in a 2BHK layout and a living room as well, for the same rent. The tradeoff was living in quite a shitty part of Mumbai, where I'd get creepy vibes everytime I went down to get some groceries. It also meant having to commute to work by the local train. The station itself was just 10 minutes away on foot, and the journey would take 30 minutes. If I'd schedule it properly I could take the direct trains and get space quite easily, both when...

Logan Lucky : Movie Review

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A redneck heist movie directed by the same guy whose resume includes the Ocean's Trilogy and The Informant, that stars Channing Tatum and Daniel Craig, involves Nascar and a one-armed bartender. Needless to say, this one was on my watchlist since the first time I saw the trailer and it entertained me more than I expected it to. The narrative revolves around the Logan family, mainly the two brothers - Jimmy (Channing Tatum) and Clyde (Adam Driver). Jimmy was an American football player in college but suffered a lifelong leg injury while Clyde is an Iraq war veteran who lost his right arm..sorry, hand and uses a prosthetic while working as a bartender. Jimmy also happens to have an adorable daughter, Sadie (Farah McKenzie), that he shares custody of with his ex-wife Bobbie Jo (Katie Holmes) while his sister Mellie (Riley Keough) works as a nanny for Bobbie's new family. Jimmy gets laid off from his construction/digging job as his employers see his injury as a potent...

The Dark Tower: Movie Review

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So you've got Idris Elba and Matthew McConaughey as the lead characters of a film based on a book by Stephen King, pitted against each other in a classic good vs evil, stopping the end of the world kind of film narrative. Sounds like something that should offer at least 90 minutes of entertainment and brilliant voices if nothing else, right? Well that's what I was expecting from 'The Dark Tower' but Director Nikolaj Arcel has managed to...how shall I put it? Fuck it up. The film is a disappointment, to say the least. The premise, as already unveiled in the trailer, revolves around something called the 'Dark Tower'. Apparently, it is at the centre of our universe and is responsible for protecting it and its inhabitants from what in essence is a version of hell and means the end of all things and all worlds. The movie's narrative introduces us to it and the antagonist through the visions/dreams of 11-year old Jake Chambers (Tom Taylor). It is through th...

Hitman's Bodyguard : Movie Review

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Okay, I've been waiting for this one since I first saw the trailer a few months ago. And it delivers as expected: the super entertaining chemistry between Samuel L. Jackson and Ryan Reynolds!! Michael Bryce (Ryan) is an executive protection agent, a bodyguard in simple terms, who has fallen down the industry spectrum after the assassination of a very high-value client. Darius Kinkaid (Samuel) is a notorious hitman, extremely skilled and known for an improvisational approach to the job, though currently in jail having been arrested by Interpol. While the two have crossed paths before in their respective field over the years, the two highly-trained killers need to NOT kill each other and work together to survive. Why? Because of Vladislav Dukovich (Gary Oldman), murderous dictator of Belarus There isn't a lot to the premise of the setup, so let me give you the gist of it. Dukovich is on trial in the world court for his heinous crimes but there is a substantial lack of...

The Man of Speed: Usain Bolt

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This was it. The finals of the 100m at the 2017 World Championships in London. The last time we'd see a legend do what he is best at on the tartan track. The runners were ready on their marks, an eerie silence falls upon the stadium. Blam! And they're off! Most eyes are on the blur of black, yellow and green in the inside lanes. Less than 10 seconds later, the cheers are a mix of hurrahs and sighs. The legend didn't win. Cut to his next appearance, the last time we'll see him gunning for glory, the 4x100m relay finals. He looks set to bid farewell on a high and recover from his earlier disappointment. But oh no! He's backing off!! He's limping!! He's on the ground! He's injured! Unbelievable! In his farewell race, he's pulled a muscle.....and the rest of that night fades away. But the legend? Oh no. He will not fade away. Nor will his legacy. Not in this time. Maybe not for a long time. After all, he is the man of speed. He is, Usain Bolt. Th...

What's in an excuse?

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Excuses. Right now, as soon as you read that word in your mind, you connected a vibe with it which I am willing to bet was not a positive one. Then there are the all too familiar phrases with that word – making excuses, being excused, having an excuse and such. The vibe, while not necessarily negative, wouldn't be called positive either. And I started to wonder why that is. Let's first take a look at the dictionary definition of the word 'excuse': As a verb 1. Seek to lessen the blame attaching to (a fault or offence); try to justify. 2. Release (someone) from a duty or requirement. As a noun 1. A reason or explanation given to justify a fault or offence. 2. an excuse for - A poor or inadequate example of.   Now, from what I interpret, an excuse is the answer to the question regarding why something didn't go right. It is a reason. The reason in itself is not negative, but it explains why the outcome was negatively affected. Yet, it is used in the context...

Dunkirk : Movie Review

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Christopher Nolan is a name you can bank on for an entertaining cinema experience, and when you add Tom Hardy to the billing, you know you can expect at least some quality acting in the story. But Dunkirk is so much more than that, especially to the British viewers. After all, this is a film about what was one of the most significant albeit weakest moments of their participation in the second World War. It would help to clarify at this point, that this film 'Dunkirk' is not a documentary of the events that happened, instead is a cinematic representation of them for the purpose of entertainment. It is not a history lesson but it does have a certain patriotic tone to it in a very British sense. Nolan's 'Dunkirk' is a relentless and distressing tale of survival surrounding the battle of Dunkirk in 1940, wherein some 400,000 allied troops had been cornered by the Nazi forces on the beach and were being picked off by bombers and fighter planes, like fish in a ba...

Baby Driver : Movie Review

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Car chases. Brilliant music. Directed by Edgar Wright. Still not sold? Okay, lemme tell you a little more about this smashing film. Baby Driver is an action-romance film that proves that it is possible that stories of this genre can be smartly written without cutting back on the thrills. And to top it all off, the soundtrack is killer. A young getaway driver whose real name is Baby (Ansel Elgort) who is working for a very well-connected criminal who specialises in heists, who we only know as Doc (Kevin effing Spacey). It's not really a choice for Baby, but he's no innocent teenager who just knows how to pull a drift. Like Doc says, he's a good kid and a devil behind the wheel. An important component of Baby's extreme skills? Music. He may look like the average teenager who doesn't take his headphones out, doesn't speak and keeps his shades on, but his tunes, their rhythm, allow him to focus the way he does and overcome his hearing disability (caused by the...

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 : Movie Review

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The Guardians are back! YEAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Phew. Sorry, had to get that outta the system before I could give you readers a more objective review even though I am a huge fan of these characters. Right, let's get into it. This is Vol 2, the sequel to what was unarguably a massively epic movie in 2014, and dare I say it, with more fun characters from Marvel than the Avengers. Peter Quill aka Star-Lord (Chris Pratt) is back and he's packing plenty of narcissism, good looks, quick wit and a great playlist. Then there's the lovely green Gamora (Zoe Saldana) who still has her guard up at all times (almost) and she gets to handle a really big gun. Alongside them is not-so-dumb-but-far-from-clever-and-often-confused Drax (Dave Bautista) with some classic taking-things-literally humour and being a bit too honest at times. Now the second-shortest but still the most insane and violent of the action-loving Guardian, there's Rocket. Let's just say we all get to know and lo...

The Colaba Diaries: Ep 8 - Nothing to tell really

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It's been well over a month since the last entry in this series and to be quite honest folks it's because I haven't got anything to tell you about. Since then, I have come to familiarize and make friends with some great individuals at work who aren't part of my team. But I haven't had much chance to have any adventures with these friends to tell you about. I've also not been on any outdoorsy work assignments, just been plugged into my desk at office. It's not even my desk really, it's the desk of my senior but he's usually out working. I've only been out to watch movies on the weekends and once or twice to meet Zoo. Earlier this week, I met JV for dinner and we ended up discovering this great place called the British Brewing Company, this was the one in Andheri, Mumbai. It's a brilliant place with great ambience, the food is good and it's not painfully expensive either. On this particular night, they had a theme of mango based drinks, ...

Fast & Furious 8: Movie Review

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Okay, so this is a tough one. For a bunch of reasons. I've been following this franchise since the beginning, back from when I would re-enact the race scenes of the movies with my HotWheels cars. And one can't help but develop a fondness for the characters that you've been following and watching and enjoying for so many years, and that's what this franchise is now. A collection of characters that I love to watch and be entertained by. And this one is a really difficult for a simple reason. Paul Walker, who played Brian O' Connor, was my favourite character and I didn't think they'd make another 'Fast & Furious' movie since his unfortunate death a couple of years ago. But they did, and I didn't know if I wanted to follow the franchise without him in it. There was no more Han or Giselle either, so this really was only half the 'family'. And I think there are others who felt the same or a similar way as I did. Having watched the late...

The Boss Baby: Movie Review

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If you've caught the trailers of Dreamwork's latest film, you would have seen that there is one simple gag that underlines the film: a baby in a suit who isn't really a baby as such, more like a businessman trapped in a baby's body. While quite entertaining and packing plenty of laughs, 'The Boss Baby' doesn't deliver on many other levels as a story. Little Tim Templeton (voiced by Miles Christopher Bakshi) seems to be living the ideal life as the only child, with a loving mum (voiced by Lisa Kudrow) and dad (Jimmy Kimmel). The intro establishes Tim as a highly creative and adventurous 7-year old with an active imagination. However, Tim's life is turned upside down when he gets, out-of-the-blue, a baby brother, the Boss Baby (perfectly voiced by Alec Baldwin). One that wears a suit and carries a briefcase. Maybe I missed it, but there's no addressing the fact that his parents just suddenly turn to Tim and say hey, you've got a baby brother....

Trapped : Movie Review

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Now, this is a bit of a surprise to my frequent readers, but yes, I did watch a Hindi film and hence this review. If I'm honest, this one was a spur of the moment thing, so don't expect things to start heading that way, but I'll admit, a lil change of pace isn't so bad. Right, on with the review then. 'Trapped' has a rather niche appeal as a lot of the references would be wasted on audiences elsewhere. It's...almost, a one-man show, and in some ways reminiscent of the Hollywood film '127 hours'. But nowhere near as interesting in terms of plot and character development. As the trailer shows, the lead character, Shaurya (played by Rajkumar Rao) gets stuck in a high-rise apartment, in a desolate building in the middle of a crowded part of Mumbai city. How does he end up in this fix? That I can tell. He desperately needs a 1BHK apartment, with a budget that is laughable (something I can relate to now), and he needs it tomorrow. He needs it beca...

The Beauty & the Beast : Movie Review

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This movie has been in the chatter for quite some time. I mean, another live-action remake of a Disney classic? Given how Cinderella did (I didn't see it but I didn't hear many people who saw it speaking too fondly of it) when it came out in 2015, there's a lot riding on this one to deliver on the fans' expectations. And as someone who only read the abridged versions of these Princess stories and can't remember having watched any of the original animated films, I saw this film being aware of the plot (loosely) and with nothing to compare it to as such besides the sketches from my childhood books. And I adore this movie. While the plot held no major surprises, maybe none for those more familiar with the original story, the execution was a pleasant cinematic experience. The sequences of song and dance are of typical Disney standard. As in, they are under normal circumstances, brilliant. But within the realm of Disney, they were good but not particularly grea...