Something about December
Ohhhhh it's been a while since the I shared a bit more than just movie reviews or cars or a 'Where I am' series. I am well aware that first and foremost, this blog is about rants and opinions, unfiltered and unrestrained. I am also aware and there has been very little of those these past few months. It's not like I'm less angry with the world or that I have run out of topics to rant about. There isn't just one reason, there are a few and some of which I can put into words, like the ones below.
Quite often, a rant would be left unwritten because it made me too mad and upset to express it coherently. Sometimes, I felt bombarded by the upsetting audio-visual stimuli from my environment that it would leave me far too upset if I tried to put it down in text. Worry not, for I have not been holding in all these feelings that might cause a series of serious implosions and explosions. I have been lucky enough to have someone close enough to be there for me in all those moments. But as the year draws to a close, I really should share some of the Loon's thoughts.
It's always December. At least, it has been for the last couple of years. I don't know what it is or what I happen to do that puts me in this spot around this time of the year but it's always...a turbulent time for me. In 2014, it was the time of one of my worst semesters in college. In 2015, I was in Bengaluru working a job I did not understand or do well and with easy access to alcohol on a daily basis. In 2016, I got rushed into making a huge lifestyle change - living in a PG shared with 6 other dudes in Mumbai when I got my chance to work at TopGear magazine. Now in December of 2017, I find myself jobless at 23 with no particular fire in my belly and feeling quite lost. Not in EVERY sense of life, but in terms of work and the immediate steps ahead. A whole year goes by with its ups and downs, and 2017 as a whole has offered many many many GREAT memories, but come December, it all goes a bit..dark. No, that's not a winter thing.
I can be egotistical enough to shout at the world that it's not my fault and everyone else's. But somewhere within me, I have to acknowledge the probability that it's actually my fault for where I find myself. My current worries may not be because of a slowing economy, nor because of the decadent ways some of the biggest offices in India carry out work. Maybe it's my fault. I dreamed and I dared to do the things that called out to me. Chased them, caught them and eventually came to the simultaneous experience of joy and disappointment. It's a very odd and unsettling feeling. Honestly, if I didn't have the support of the one most important to me and others close to me, you might not have heard from me on this blog for quite some time.
If I try to describe this odd and unsettling feeling the only expression that comes to mind is an "icy fire". I know it sounds wrong and obviously contradictory but that's kinda why it fits. It doesn't make sense, it shouldn't be like this, yet it is. I have often shared some of these odd and unsettling feelings with you guys and given you a message of hope at the end, to say that you're not alone and that it's okay and that there is someone out there who understands your pain. And that is where this time it's different.
I have hope, for me and for others facing their own hardships and fighting their own battles. I am not alone and blessed to have someone who won't let me feel that way again. And if you are those who feel alone, hurt and lost in the dark, reach out. Do not depend but give someone a chance, do not underestimate your ability to heal and most importantly, do not stop trying to make your life better for yourself. But, I do wonder, if anyone else here knows what I speak of, this feeling of an 'icy fire'?
Anyway, there's that part of things. But yeah, it's like a pattern of sorts that I am unemployed by October and then miserable in my professional life till the next opportunity comes up. But at this point in time, I am too old and experienced to take up internships or apprentice programs. I need to be paid for my skills and services, in full. Having seen up close the state of those in the writing professions, be it creative folks, journalists or even just simple copywriters, it is particularly infuriating.
Good writing is rarely appreciated or recognised for its value and latent potential. Even rarer is finding an organisation or a client that agrees to pay a fair sum for good writing. The most aggravating argument is that "It's not that big a deal. Anyone can write this stuff". No, they fucking can't. That's why we do it as a fucking profession. Because most people can't write. Period. Forget good copy, most people write like they're giving a CBSE board exam or some aren't even coherent for one full sentence (just look at President Trump). I do have the ego of a blogger/writer, yes, but I have seen some people with a phenomenal gift for communicating in the written form, across genres and platforms, and still be paid less than someone whose sole skill is to handle adult tantrums and spew bullshit, and not even do it that well.
Of course, my anger and my frustration are peaking in this time of unemployment, but only some of those statements are slightly exaggerated while most are dishearteningly accurate. But to all those are writers and those who aim or dream to be professional writers, I ask you to be strong and courageous and chase your dream down till the very end. Do not be put off by these rants of a lunatic stuck in a rut of unfavourable circumstances. Everyone loves a storyteller, only the audience size differs.Yours is waiting, just keep those words flowing and do not fear criticism or failure as they will teach you more important lessons than success or praise.
I have really gone all over the place with this blog post haven't I? Even my foggy and sleep-deprived mind can register that at this point. So that's where we'll leave it for now guys, though this may not be the last post for the year of 2017 apart from possible reviews.
Thanks to all of you guys for reading, and do subscribe and leave a comment down below for feedback and suggestion.
But seriously, I do mean it guys, thank you. Without your support, The Sane Lunatic would have been just another web address in the rubbish-corner of the internet. Instead, we're almost at the four-year mark, with over 13,000 page views and it's your support that motivates me to write these reviews and share the Loon life with you all. I don't mean to get all weird and mushy in these posts, but I don't know, happens around this time of year. I guess there's just something about December...
Quite often, a rant would be left unwritten because it made me too mad and upset to express it coherently. Sometimes, I felt bombarded by the upsetting audio-visual stimuli from my environment that it would leave me far too upset if I tried to put it down in text. Worry not, for I have not been holding in all these feelings that might cause a series of serious implosions and explosions. I have been lucky enough to have someone close enough to be there for me in all those moments. But as the year draws to a close, I really should share some of the Loon's thoughts.
It's always December. At least, it has been for the last couple of years. I don't know what it is or what I happen to do that puts me in this spot around this time of the year but it's always...a turbulent time for me. In 2014, it was the time of one of my worst semesters in college. In 2015, I was in Bengaluru working a job I did not understand or do well and with easy access to alcohol on a daily basis. In 2016, I got rushed into making a huge lifestyle change - living in a PG shared with 6 other dudes in Mumbai when I got my chance to work at TopGear magazine. Now in December of 2017, I find myself jobless at 23 with no particular fire in my belly and feeling quite lost. Not in EVERY sense of life, but in terms of work and the immediate steps ahead. A whole year goes by with its ups and downs, and 2017 as a whole has offered many many many GREAT memories, but come December, it all goes a bit..dark. No, that's not a winter thing.
I can be egotistical enough to shout at the world that it's not my fault and everyone else's. But somewhere within me, I have to acknowledge the probability that it's actually my fault for where I find myself. My current worries may not be because of a slowing economy, nor because of the decadent ways some of the biggest offices in India carry out work. Maybe it's my fault. I dreamed and I dared to do the things that called out to me. Chased them, caught them and eventually came to the simultaneous experience of joy and disappointment. It's a very odd and unsettling feeling. Honestly, if I didn't have the support of the one most important to me and others close to me, you might not have heard from me on this blog for quite some time.
If I try to describe this odd and unsettling feeling the only expression that comes to mind is an "icy fire". I know it sounds wrong and obviously contradictory but that's kinda why it fits. It doesn't make sense, it shouldn't be like this, yet it is. I have often shared some of these odd and unsettling feelings with you guys and given you a message of hope at the end, to say that you're not alone and that it's okay and that there is someone out there who understands your pain. And that is where this time it's different.
I have hope, for me and for others facing their own hardships and fighting their own battles. I am not alone and blessed to have someone who won't let me feel that way again. And if you are those who feel alone, hurt and lost in the dark, reach out. Do not depend but give someone a chance, do not underestimate your ability to heal and most importantly, do not stop trying to make your life better for yourself. But, I do wonder, if anyone else here knows what I speak of, this feeling of an 'icy fire'?
Anyway, there's that part of things. But yeah, it's like a pattern of sorts that I am unemployed by October and then miserable in my professional life till the next opportunity comes up. But at this point in time, I am too old and experienced to take up internships or apprentice programs. I need to be paid for my skills and services, in full. Having seen up close the state of those in the writing professions, be it creative folks, journalists or even just simple copywriters, it is particularly infuriating.
Good writing is rarely appreciated or recognised for its value and latent potential. Even rarer is finding an organisation or a client that agrees to pay a fair sum for good writing. The most aggravating argument is that "It's not that big a deal. Anyone can write this stuff". No, they fucking can't. That's why we do it as a fucking profession. Because most people can't write. Period. Forget good copy, most people write like they're giving a CBSE board exam or some aren't even coherent for one full sentence (just look at President Trump). I do have the ego of a blogger/writer, yes, but I have seen some people with a phenomenal gift for communicating in the written form, across genres and platforms, and still be paid less than someone whose sole skill is to handle adult tantrums and spew bullshit, and not even do it that well.
Of course, my anger and my frustration are peaking in this time of unemployment, but only some of those statements are slightly exaggerated while most are dishearteningly accurate. But to all those are writers and those who aim or dream to be professional writers, I ask you to be strong and courageous and chase your dream down till the very end. Do not be put off by these rants of a lunatic stuck in a rut of unfavourable circumstances. Everyone loves a storyteller, only the audience size differs.Yours is waiting, just keep those words flowing and do not fear criticism or failure as they will teach you more important lessons than success or praise.
I have really gone all over the place with this blog post haven't I? Even my foggy and sleep-deprived mind can register that at this point. So that's where we'll leave it for now guys, though this may not be the last post for the year of 2017 apart from possible reviews.
Thanks to all of you guys for reading, and do subscribe and leave a comment down below for feedback and suggestion.
But seriously, I do mean it guys, thank you. Without your support, The Sane Lunatic would have been just another web address in the rubbish-corner of the internet. Instead, we're almost at the four-year mark, with over 13,000 page views and it's your support that motivates me to write these reviews and share the Loon life with you all. I don't mean to get all weird and mushy in these posts, but I don't know, happens around this time of year. I guess there's just something about December...
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