When Sorry Isn't Enough

Does anyone remember when they were first taught this word? I assume it was your parents or guardians when they were mad at you for doing something wrong and you were told to say sorry. Easy as that. Just say sorry. Make a mistake, say sorry. Drop something, say sorry. Hurt someone, say sorry. Be careless, say sorry. It's become such a common and often an emptily used word, it can be argued that it has lost some of its depth. 

“I’m sorry.’ The two most inadequate words in the English language.” –Beth Revis
I'm not saying people should stop expressing an apology. In fact, there are so many cases of ruined relationships where ego came in the way of an apology, where saying a heartfelt sorry can go a long way. But when that is not the case, when the apologies become frequent and repetitive, when no matter how earnest, they become part of the routine, what then? What if sorry was no longer a word and there was no replacement for it? What would we do? What would you do? What would I do? What happens when saying sorry doesn't do?

Time for another short English lesson. Did you know that the word 'sorry' originally comes from a West Germanic word, sore, which means to feel pained and borrows sorry from recent English. Today it is used to express sadness or regret or to refer to a pitiful state. Now a word used by those who cause pain and distress.



If any of you readers are thinking that I'm writing on this topic because someone made me upset, then now is a good time to explain why you're wrong. It's me. I am constantly making mistakes and hurting people around me just by being a massive idiot. And every time it happens, I repent, and I say sorry. But it's getting too much now. I don't know how my loved ones feel about it, but I feel bad for always saying sorry all the time.

Quick childhood story, I used to make so many mistakes and do so many wrong things that I would be saying sorry for something or the other all the time. My dad used to joke that maybe they should just change my name to Sorry.

Back to the present now, and we are back here with the predicament of what to do in a world where sorry won't do. How would you make up for your mistakes? I mean, for the little things I suppose we could adopt the Japanese apologetic bow but what about the big stuff. When you fail someone who was counting on you? When you hurt someone who trusts you? When you wrong someone who loves you?

I discussed this recently with my partner and she suggested getting the person some pizza to try and make up for messing up, but we agreed that would bankrupt one and may not always work. Hugs are a good idea, definitely, shows that you want to apologise and that they are important to you. Doesn't work for every situation though. After much deliberation, she and I came to a solution that sounds simple but is actually the most difficult.

In a world without 'sorry' we'd actually have to be better people. Nobody's perfect but every single one of us is capable of better. Not all mistakes were caused by factors beyond our control and many stupid actions or words were that which could have been avoided. But saying sorry has been so much easier than putting in the effort to being a better person, to being a better friend, a better partner. Imagine the pain you could save them and yourself if you were just a little more dedicated to being better, instead of saying sorry when you mess up.

That said, this isn't just another rant or just another topic that I wanted to share with you readers. It's more than words. I intend to try and improve myself so that I hopefully won't be feeling the need to keep saying sorry, to the people I care about so much.

What about you? What do you think would work in a world where saying sorry, isn't enough? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

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