The Next Chapter
It's been a looong time since I shared some of the Sane Loon life here. The last time I opened up, things were looking pretty grim in my opinion. And three months later, not a whole lot has changed in the areas of life that I've been struggling in but a lot of other stuff has happened since then.
Near the end of May, I went on a short road trip with family to a secluded coffee plantation resort in Himachal Pradesh in the newly acquired family car. It was a good drive and for the most part, it was a welcome break from the noisy bustle of the city existence. But the trip didn't end so well as I was way beyond my limit in terms of putting up with family in a small, confined space with no breaks. As such, it was weighing heavily on my mind and my attention span. Knowing that, I should have cleared my mind before I got behind the wheel to do my share of the drive back, but I didn't and through a case of poor judgment and unfortunate circumstances, found myself between a bus and a road-divider at highway speeds. On the plus, everyone on board was shaken but unhurt and the car was mobile enough to be driven the remaining 300km or so back home. The whole 6 hours drive all I could think about was how stupid I had been and had almost paid dearly for it. The car got repaired and the insurance covered most of it since it was an accident after all, but in my mind, I felt pretty broken. For the first time, I took my anger as a serious problem that nearly cost me my life and looked at it as something more than just a character trait but an issue that needed to be corrected for my own sake and for those I love.
It's a rough adjustment and it takes time, but I feel like I am on the path to becoming better. I can't necessarily control the world to not make me angry, but I can avoid trigger situations when possible. I can control it enough to avoid an outburst, to channel it safely and without causing hurt. It's a process and I'm in it, but I will fix it and not be controlled by it.
Apart from that, in the aspect of finding gainful employment, I'm still looking. I had a few interviews after I got back from the trip to try and build a busy routine to help with some of the anxiety and anger but I found the options I was given to be unsatisfactory. Since then, I have pushed myself to work more on my own projects until the next opportunity presents itself while trying to knock on the doors that I wanted to get into. There have been many discussions regarding my stubbornness to not settle when I have not 'proven' my worth, to hold out for the right place and the right work till the point of desperation. I understand why it can be worrying for those who care, but I feel that they understand why I resist the 'need' to change myself. To be more flexible. And I am forever grateful to these people who continue to believe in me, and I know that their urge to offer help and advice comes from caring about me too. In fact, the number of people who reached out to me after the last time reminded me that I am never as alone as I sometimes might feel. Not to take advantage of their goodness, but I know that if they can, they will help. Even if I'm too stubborn to ask for it straight. To these good people, I offer my gratitude and my thanks for supporting me in any way.
Just realised I finally decided to write this one down on friendship day. So, to whoever is reading this and knows me and has been there for me, I raise a glass of chilled cola to you - Happy Friendship Day.
One of the big changes is a bit more recent. I knew it was coming and I know that it is a good one even if it's difficult in the present moment. My FAVOURITE person had to move town because of work and I am so proud of what she's doing, the amount of effort she is putting in to sort life out as an adult especially when it's not easy at all. I admire her for her drive to do what needs to be done and she inspires me every day with her focus, her love, her smile, her humour and her belief in me to be the best that I can be. I am probably the luckiest person, ever, to have her in my life as mine.
Another change over the last three months has been this drive to work harder on my projects, to go the little extra metres that I otherwise wouldn't. It's incredibly satisfying to know that the more I do, the better I get at it and the more my project can grow. I've finally got google ads on this blog after all these years and even though I don't make money, it's a step forward for me on this platform. I've been running an automotive blog for almost 2 years now where I've written over 200 articles. I've started pushing my content on YouTube, on DriveTribe, on Twitter (@autoloons) and on Instagram (@autoloons) as well. All of it that I could have done three months ago but didn't and now I am doing it. I am trying harder than before to do more than before. And it helps. It really does.
To sum up, some major sh*t happened, some good happened and a lot of work is being done by yours truly to be the best that he can be. Thank you all for reading, don't forget to show your support by subscribing to the blog and leave a comment for whatever you'd like me to know or want to read more of on the Sane Loon blog. Cheers!
Near the end of May, I went on a short road trip with family to a secluded coffee plantation resort in Himachal Pradesh in the newly acquired family car. It was a good drive and for the most part, it was a welcome break from the noisy bustle of the city existence. But the trip didn't end so well as I was way beyond my limit in terms of putting up with family in a small, confined space with no breaks. As such, it was weighing heavily on my mind and my attention span. Knowing that, I should have cleared my mind before I got behind the wheel to do my share of the drive back, but I didn't and through a case of poor judgment and unfortunate circumstances, found myself between a bus and a road-divider at highway speeds. On the plus, everyone on board was shaken but unhurt and the car was mobile enough to be driven the remaining 300km or so back home. The whole 6 hours drive all I could think about was how stupid I had been and had almost paid dearly for it. The car got repaired and the insurance covered most of it since it was an accident after all, but in my mind, I felt pretty broken. For the first time, I took my anger as a serious problem that nearly cost me my life and looked at it as something more than just a character trait but an issue that needed to be corrected for my own sake and for those I love.
It's a rough adjustment and it takes time, but I feel like I am on the path to becoming better. I can't necessarily control the world to not make me angry, but I can avoid trigger situations when possible. I can control it enough to avoid an outburst, to channel it safely and without causing hurt. It's a process and I'm in it, but I will fix it and not be controlled by it.
Apart from that, in the aspect of finding gainful employment, I'm still looking. I had a few interviews after I got back from the trip to try and build a busy routine to help with some of the anxiety and anger but I found the options I was given to be unsatisfactory. Since then, I have pushed myself to work more on my own projects until the next opportunity presents itself while trying to knock on the doors that I wanted to get into. There have been many discussions regarding my stubbornness to not settle when I have not 'proven' my worth, to hold out for the right place and the right work till the point of desperation. I understand why it can be worrying for those who care, but I feel that they understand why I resist the 'need' to change myself. To be more flexible. And I am forever grateful to these people who continue to believe in me, and I know that their urge to offer help and advice comes from caring about me too. In fact, the number of people who reached out to me after the last time reminded me that I am never as alone as I sometimes might feel. Not to take advantage of their goodness, but I know that if they can, they will help. Even if I'm too stubborn to ask for it straight. To these good people, I offer my gratitude and my thanks for supporting me in any way.
Just realised I finally decided to write this one down on friendship day. So, to whoever is reading this and knows me and has been there for me, I raise a glass of chilled cola to you - Happy Friendship Day.
One of the big changes is a bit more recent. I knew it was coming and I know that it is a good one even if it's difficult in the present moment. My FAVOURITE person had to move town because of work and I am so proud of what she's doing, the amount of effort she is putting in to sort life out as an adult especially when it's not easy at all. I admire her for her drive to do what needs to be done and she inspires me every day with her focus, her love, her smile, her humour and her belief in me to be the best that I can be. I am probably the luckiest person, ever, to have her in my life as mine.
Another change over the last three months has been this drive to work harder on my projects, to go the little extra metres that I otherwise wouldn't. It's incredibly satisfying to know that the more I do, the better I get at it and the more my project can grow. I've finally got google ads on this blog after all these years and even though I don't make money, it's a step forward for me on this platform. I've been running an automotive blog for almost 2 years now where I've written over 200 articles. I've started pushing my content on YouTube, on DriveTribe, on Twitter (@autoloons) and on Instagram (@autoloons) as well. All of it that I could have done three months ago but didn't and now I am doing it. I am trying harder than before to do more than before. And it helps. It really does.
To sum up, some major sh*t happened, some good happened and a lot of work is being done by yours truly to be the best that he can be. Thank you all for reading, don't forget to show your support by subscribing to the blog and leave a comment for whatever you'd like me to know or want to read more of on the Sane Loon blog. Cheers!
https://www.motorcyclescreens.eu/25-motorcycle-windscreens-windshields-triumph
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