Fast & Furious 9: Movie Review

 Fast and Furious 9 is the latest installment of the most ridiculous action movie franchises of my generation. What started as a movie for lovers of cars and tuners has become a full-fledged action movie franchise that no longer has anything to do with racing. But like me, many fans of the franchise will continue to watch every installment of the FnF series. This was among the list of films that were supposed to be released sooner (early 2020) but eventually hit the screens in the summer of 2021, and I decided it was worth the entry price to experience the film on the big screen.

The storylines have become more and more stupid but the stunts have become increasingly fun to watch. It's about the characters, identifying every car that gets driven by them, and just listening to the cacophony of engine revs, explosions and Dominic Toretto saying the word "family".

The basic plotline is simple: A tech weapon that poses a global threat in the wrong hands and needs retrieving. Since it involves the "death" of their secret agent friend, it falls upon Toretto's crew to go get it. The remaining members include Letty, Roman, Tej and Ramsey the British hacker. Just as they're about to get away with the device, a new character jumps in to steal it off them: Jakob (played by John Cena). Not only is he working with a villain from the previous film, Cipher (Charlize Theron), he's also Dom's younger brother. Yep, eight movies and we never heard of this Toretto but he pops up just as the franchise loses its other muscley character in Hobbs (Dwayne Johnson).

The rest of the movie involves the crew trying to retrieve the superweapon without trying to kill the boss villain. We are treated to some new characters who allow other superstars to dip their names into the FnF universe such as Cardi B and Helen Mirren. The latter seems to enjoy being the badass lady in action movies nowadays, bringing some class to the otherwise jock-type characters. Brian O'Connor's character is used as a narrative foothold that allows his wife Mia (Jordana Brewster) to rejoin the crew for their insane missions. It's no spoiler that Fast & Furious 9 brings back the fan favourite Han (played by Sung Kang). There's not much explanation as to how he didn't die in that explosion which happened to be a key plotline of the seventh film in the series, but we don't mind because we like to see Sung being cool on screen.

We're also shown a host of flashbacks to try and explain Jakob's role in the FnF cinematic universe. The actor who played the young version of Toretto did a better job than Vin Diesel does playing the old Dominic. Charlize Theron is visibly leagues ahead of the usual FnF crew as an actor and makes every second of Cipher's screentime worth watching. Meanwhile, it is a bit awkward to watch Cena deliver dumb dialogue while keeping a straight face. He's good at it with plenty of experience in WWE but he's better known for his big smile and natural comic rhythm. I'd love to see the blooper reel and would probably enjoy it more than the scenes between Jakob and Dom.

The natural comedic chemistry between Ludacris and Tyrese Gibson continues to be a saving grace, offering much-needed relief from the cringing dialogues of Dom and Letty. They've also used Tej and Roman as a means to knock on the fourth wall by acknowledging the absurdities of their criminal escapades, and the fact that they pull through without a single scar or bullet wound. Michelle Rodriguez as Letty is as stale as Vin Diesel as Dominic Toretto but thankfully her lines are short and few. We also see the return of Twinky and Sean from Tokyo Drift but the actors look unrecognisable after all these years. They are part of the engineering trio that sends Tej and Roman into space as part of the final heist.

This brings us to the rotten worm in an otherwise acceptable apple: Ramsey. She's played by Nathalie Emmanuel who joined the series in the seventh FnF movie. I haven't seen any of the actor's other works but sadly her version of Ramsey is abysmal and physically painful to watch. Perhaps the character could have been written or maybe Nathalie needs to rework her interpretation of the clumsy genius. The lines are bad enough but when she plays a pivotal role in the final chase sequence, her performance leaves a sour taste in the overall experience.

My favourite cars from Fast & Furious 9 were the modified Mustang, the Han-spec Supra, and the Noble M600.

I'd rate Fast & Furious 9 at 6.5 chip-packets out of 10, and that's as a fan. It's got some cool action scenes, a scattering of funny moments, and some cool cars too. I'd also recommend that you watch this movie while drinking some pints or cocktails to enjoy it better.