There exists an enemy for each and every person and thing,
so is the balance of nature and life. As foes, they destroy and hurt each
other, but together they are capable of greatness.
so is the balance of nature and life. As foes, they destroy and hurt each
other, but together they are capable of greatness.
I have my good days and my bad days…but then I also have
my really bad days. Today was one of those days. A generally low tolerance
level of stupidity, lack of common sense and constricted privacy is further
halved on such days. On the insides, the frustration and rage seems to burn up
my insides. A fever comes on, rising body temperature, acidity are just some of
the side effects felt on such days. The tears of frustration held back for sake
of pride, feel like acid behind the eyes.
my really bad days. Today was one of those days. A generally low tolerance
level of stupidity, lack of common sense and constricted privacy is further
halved on such days. On the insides, the frustration and rage seems to burn up
my insides. A fever comes on, rising body temperature, acidity are just some of
the side effects felt on such days. The tears of frustration held back for sake
of pride, feel like acid behind the eyes.
As your instincts are screaming for you to breakdown, lash
out, release all the build up fury eating away at your insides, your still cool
and sensible mind keeps you inactive, to nullify those instincts, and keep you
out of trouble. It is classic tale of fighting your inner demons. The good inside you maintains the peace,
which is seen as a weakness by the dark side within, hounding your thoughts,
making your blood boil.
out, release all the build up fury eating away at your insides, your still cool
and sensible mind keeps you inactive, to nullify those instincts, and keep you
out of trouble. It is classic tale of fighting your inner demons. The good inside you maintains the peace,
which is seen as a weakness by the dark side within, hounding your thoughts,
making your blood boil.
Such a collapse of mental and emotional stability was
brought on by accumulation of several stressful issues on my mind, but the
breaking point was the simplest of possible reasons… a failure to understand
or grasp a concept, that my peers seemed to have little or no trouble with.
While it may confuse you as to why such a trivial matter brought on such dire
consequences, I take this moment to share something about myself with the readers.
I pride myself on being intellectually superior(smarter, creative and sensible) than most of my peers, and to seek those
who are superior to me so that I can grow further. To be void of such an
environment, and feel outwitted by dull creatures, is a big blow to my self
confidence..and my ego. That being cleared up, let us get back to today’s
events.
brought on by accumulation of several stressful issues on my mind, but the
breaking point was the simplest of possible reasons… a failure to understand
or grasp a concept, that my peers seemed to have little or no trouble with.
While it may confuse you as to why such a trivial matter brought on such dire
consequences, I take this moment to share something about myself with the readers.
I pride myself on being intellectually superior(smarter, creative and sensible) than most of my peers, and to seek those
who are superior to me so that I can grow further. To be void of such an
environment, and feel outwitted by dull creatures, is a big blow to my self
confidence..and my ego. That being cleared up, let us get back to today’s
events.
Once in the privacy of your home, or your room, you want to
scream but no sound escapes from your dry choked throat. The constant fight
between what you should do that is socially acceptable, and what you feel the
need to do for your own sake, tears away at your very soul. An outburst in a
quarantined environment is inevitable, for which, other people are lucky, that
I have a punching bag to unleash my fury. I punch and jab and hammer away at it
till my knuckles bleed or my arms won’t lift, whichever happens first. But if
the rage inside continues, it progresses to using objects or dismembering them,
and high sugar consumption to calm this fiery storm.
scream but no sound escapes from your dry choked throat. The constant fight
between what you should do that is socially acceptable, and what you feel the
need to do for your own sake, tears away at your very soul. An outburst in a
quarantined environment is inevitable, for which, other people are lucky, that
I have a punching bag to unleash my fury. I punch and jab and hammer away at it
till my knuckles bleed or my arms won’t lift, whichever happens first. But if
the rage inside continues, it progresses to using objects or dismembering them,
and high sugar consumption to calm this fiery storm.
You would say it is not a good thing to happen, that one
should talk it out with a friend or confidant, and that would help a lot more,
in a more constructive manner. I agree, and I would give the same advice to
those I care about as well. But here, the fight within me does interfere. I
pull out my phone but hesitate, pondering over who can I talk to? Some of my
closest and dearest are inaccessible or unavailable to contact, and I have my
reservations of confiding in friends in vulnerable moments. There is only one
person whom I trust without a doubt to confide in, myself. But the split inside
my mind causes a more acute fit of rage.
should talk it out with a friend or confidant, and that would help a lot more,
in a more constructive manner. I agree, and I would give the same advice to
those I care about as well. But here, the fight within me does interfere. I
pull out my phone but hesitate, pondering over who can I talk to? Some of my
closest and dearest are inaccessible or unavailable to contact, and I have my
reservations of confiding in friends in vulnerable moments. There is only one
person whom I trust without a doubt to confide in, myself. But the split inside
my mind causes a more acute fit of rage.
It is my own thoughts, my own pride, my own methods that put
me in such positions of discomfort, pain and emotional strength. This leads to
only one logical conclusion. It is not the world or the people in it, but it is
I. I am my worst enemy.
me in such positions of discomfort, pain and emotional strength. This leads to
only one logical conclusion. It is not the world or the people in it, but it is
I. I am my worst enemy.
